….. but I can not figure out what it is.
Well of course I have been taking care of myself with getting help at work to be able to communicate better with that co-worker. I have to fight with all that emotional Chaos I usually had to fight with but it feels different. Well actually it feels how it used to feel like. There is this analytical part inside of me that gets the facts and takes care that I get help, there is this emotional part that creates drama and feels the anger and frustration but there is another one. When I walked back into work yesterday I suddenly had that feeling to really be in my body. I could feel the sun on my skin and observed my feet walking over the tarmac. It was like I was really there and do not only exist in my mind or that “safe” place or what ever that is. I used to have that way back when I started to heal but haven’t been there for ages. And that question pops up in my mind constantly is there
DID and
PTSD as well as Depression? Have I been treated for the right things? What else do I have to do to get me into a better state?
Well I signed into the Forum of HAVOCA (help for adult survivors of child abuse) to start getting into a community and get some feedback and new ideas. Besides that I think I need either therapy or counselling or any other professional help to figure out what else I suffer from. But I do not have a clue where to start.
This is a new stage. I can feel it! I know it! It will be better but I do think that when you are not only in a bad place when there are more and more good times the bad times that are less feel a lot worse than all that bad time before!
